https://www.kreisenderle.com
We here at Monomakhos have been privy for several months now to the existence of a whistleblower who wishes to remain anonymous for the time being. He asks this for fear of his own safety. We will respect that. We can confirm however that the whistleblower in question launched an investigation into the Greek Archdiocese years ago and while we do not necessarily agree with every point he makes (or the following story below), we do know that he is a devout Greek Orthodox Christian and he continues to be a stalwart supporter for uncovering the truth. Unfortunately, he was ignored by the powers-that-be and continues to be ignored to this very day.
This is to the chagrin of the GOA, which has been on a glide path to implosion as more and more corruption is being exposed. Despite their best efforts at PR control, The “mistakes of the past” are not in the past. Someday, the bill will come due and they will be fully acknowledged. Be that as it may, this acknowledgment does not appear to be forthcoming any time soon as we can see from the video below.
[Many thanks to Nick Stamatakis of Helleniscope for providing us with this story. –Ed.]
Catsimatides Threatens the Whistle Blower and the Press (video)…
By Nick Stamatakis
In an unbelievable turn of events it appears that John Catsimatides (VP of the Archdiocesan Council, who was “honored” by the Brooklyn community of the Three Hierarchs with the Greek Heritage Award on January 29) has misrepresented the truth repeatedly and has also proceeded to threaten the press; more importantly he appears to have taken the mantle of the “exterminator” of everything bad within the GOA, while the truth is that the current investigation was the result of the whistleblower’s initiative, whom he also threatened!!
Just yesterday we were commenting on: 1) The several factual mistakes Catsimatides made during his 7 minute speech 2) His effort to “wrap up” the accounting of the huge scandal of St.Nicholas in Ground Zero by ignoring the current investigation and limiting the “guilty GOA employees” to just Papadakos and Demetriou. 3) His effort to control “disinformation” by employing George Venizelos, a retired FBI director, which is a truly appalling attack on “free speech”.
Today, after we were able to get our hands on the 7 minute video of his talk, we were speechless by the countless legal violations he was able to fit in such a short time, which by the way was meant to honor him as a Greek American and as a “churchman”… We can imagine what he would do if he was not a churchman! He would probably take a machine gun and kill everyone who disagreed with him!
- He spoke about “mistakes of the past” that have now been corrected, knowing full well that the investigation is continuing and aiming at the “biggest wrongdoers”, and particularly at his “Koumbaro” Fr.Karloutsos. Dear Mr. Catsimatides, nothing has been corrected yet, and those who committed the biggest crimes have not been punished yet. Why are you trying to protect them? You are not leading the Church at a better place by protecting the wrongdoers – you are destroying it!
- He said that now the GOA is employing volunteers on the St.Nicholas project (after admitting that before they had wasted untold millions on paid “professionals”) – while the truth is that they do not have the money to pay anyone (they are all but bankrupt!) and that’s why they are trying to employ “pro bono” professionals. The truth is that they are bankrupt morally, more than they are financially… If they were not bankrupt morally, Karloutsos, the “prince of darkness”, would not be allowed, once again(!), in the same project he made a mess of last time…
- He presented himself as the “terminator” who cleaned up the Church and put in jail the wrongdoers, saying specifically that “he does not fool around”. The truth is that the whistle blower took the initiative over two years ago to expose the immense corruption in GOA. The whistle blower was able to verify to us directly the following:
STATEMENT BY THE WHISTLE BLOWER: “I went to the federal authorities because the church leadership and “community leaders” did nothing for over 30 years. In fact, when I addressed my concern of multiple ongoing serious crimes to the “community leaders” they did nothing and wanted me to stay quiet. When I was begging for help they did nothing. I reported on Saint Nicholas and all involved in great detail, I reported on the 50+ million missing out of the pension fund, I reported on the HCHC investigation that got the school on probation and many other serious things. I reported on wrongdoing in multiple states.
This is not a Christ-centered church and it has not been for a very long time.
No, Mr Catsimatides, you and your fellow “community leaders” did not take care of anything… You were more concerned about the next awards where you were honoring yourselves, awards for your “achievement” in running the church into the ground. So, I got the Feds to come in and clean up the mess you all stuck us with. You and the other “leaders” are about parties, not people. You will find that threatening the whistle blower on open and ongoing investigations is a huge mistake and that also has been reported directly to the investigators. The truth is all coming out and the days of the “Archons” and the “community leaders” threatening, lying and bullying the faithful are over!”
- He failed royally to account for the huge losses of the past, in the tune of many millions of dollars. He said nothing of the 10% “kickbacks” to Fr.Karloutsos, his “commission” for fundraising; he said nothing for the $10 million that headed to the Patriarch as a payment for the Ukrainian autocephaly (alleged by James Jiatras, a very knowledgeable former State Dept. employee).
- He refers to $7 million raised from offers of $1 million each (probably from those participating in the “Friends of St.Nichloas” committee), without announcing the names of the donors. And he declared (twice!) that the Spanos Foundation donation of $10 million was in cash! What is this supposed to mean? How is it possible for a Foundation to make a cash donation? What is really going on there? This is very suspicious, especially when we know that Fr.Karloutsos himself went to California to “arrange” the donation with Spanos Foundation leadership… Did he tell them about the current and ongoing investigations? We can’t find a single person who will give any money to Saint Nicholas while its currently under investigation.
- But the most egregiously unlawful part of his rumbling talk was when he attacked all those voices “on the internet” calling them “nonsense” and adding that “we will go after them too” (!!). And he announced shamelessly that “he is lending his own chief of staff, George Venizelos”, retired FBI director, to get those who do bad things for the Church!! “I promise you that”, he concluded, not realizing that he is committing serious violations of the criminal code along with the Constitution of the United States!! Unbelievable!!
January 31, 2020, n.stamatakis@aol.com
https://www.helleniscope.com/2020/01/31/catsimatides-threatens-the-whistleblower-and-the-press-video/
I watched the video. I missed Al Martino (sorry: Johnny Fontane)
coming on to give us a song or two.
Once again, it seems the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America is hoping to brush this under the carpet. The question still remains. Where did the missing funds go and who authorized the transfer of these funds.
All people involved must be held liable for their actions. I tend to think there is much more to this that has not been revealed to date.
Sadly, the statement made above in the article is so true.
“This is not a Christ-centered church and it has not been for a very long time.”
Lord have mercy on us and hear our prayers.
The GOA IS A WROTTING CORPSE. one can vainly hope they are shamed in Christ. But I doubt it totally. But surely one can hope they may be more then shamed by USA criminal justice system. Including the criminal in – Chief due to visit yr shores soon.
Try and sell this crap to yr kids as the Church of Christ.
Can you call yourself a Church if you are not Christ centered? Other than some parish exceptions, the GOA is a Greek club that does church services. There is little effort to evangelize which should be a central function of a Church. The GOA’s budget assigns more money to Greek education than it does to evangelism. Repentance is needed-the GOA has “lost its first love” and the “one thing needful” which is Jesus. Completing the St. Nick structure will not save the GOA.
Wow! I thought I was watching an outtake from “The Godfather.”
A classmate at SVOTS went on to work at the GOA chancery after graduation, I’m the first years of this century. I talked to him afterwards and he said that the OCA may have its problems and limitations, but at least we’ve never made Orthodoxy into a mere ideology. This is what the GOA has done. And like all ideologies, phanariotism excuses and number of abuses in pursuit of its own peculiar goals which are not Christ. An administration of the Church of Christ which becomes ideological cannot remain the Church for long.
Seems there are strong parallels with the tendency in RC quarters to idolize the papacy. Whatever the issues in the OCA there is certainly no comparable danger.
lance. Brilliant. Ideology. That is what it is as with orthodoxism too. Fr Alexander Schememn wrote about this danger. But if the foundations are wrotten,built on sand as Christ said , what to expect.?
Talk about the fish rotting from the head down…Bartholomew is now saying that the Theotokos sides with him in his fight against the Russian Orthodox Church. This man is making a complete fool of himself.
https://spzh.news/en/news/68364-ijerarkh-fanara-bogorodica-na-storone-patriarkha-varfolomeja-v-borybe-s-rpc
You’re just jealous of us Greeks because we’re Number One! etc. Besides, don’t you know that “Theotokos” is a greek name? And our “All Holiness” is “Holier” than yours, whoever that is.
(I have to say it’s all becoming really embarrassing.)
Bart looks like Theodan under the influence of Wormtongue.
What a bunch of clowns. Albeit, sad clowns, but clowns nonetheless.
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c6/dd/cc/c6ddccd003c9ecae7e4a01b93cb21ed1.jpg
Total clowns and making the Church a circus.
So what? Fundraisng consultants kept 25% in the 1980s. It’s legit. [Editor’s Note: Removed] The Parable of the Talents glories in capitalism over the slothful envy of socialism. Simeon Djankov, former Bulgar treasury secretary and Elena Nikolova of University College London, wrote in World Bank WPS8399 April 2018, “Eastern Orthodox religion have less social capital and prefer old ideas and safe jobs. In addition, Orthodoxy is associated with left-leaning political preferences and stronger support for government involvement in the economy. Compared with non-believers and Orthodox adherents, Catholics and Protestants are less likely to agree that government ownership is a good thing, and Protestants are less likely to agree that getting rich can only happen at the expense of others. . . consistent with Berdyaev’s hypothesis that communism is a successor of Orthodoxy”
You sum up everything about why I am an Orthodox Christian. Thank you.
Johnson in Uk has just stated how government needs to get involved in the economy etc of uk as crony world bank pseudo capitalism has led to the state we have.
Amen and I couldn’t agree with you more, JK. It seems here in the U.S., the Greek Orthodox Church is first and foremost, a Greek culture club. Where Greek language and dance are of the utmost importance. I question even if the Church comes in second. And if it does, it is a very far second.
In my lifetime experience, I am sad to say, I feel Greek Orthodox Christians seem to know very little about their religion.
GS, the vast majority of adherents to any faith know little. It is not just the Greeks. The trouble lies in how aggressively certain Greeks pursue their ignorance as if it were the truth.
Yes it’s true majority of adherents to any religion don’t seem to understand it’s tenets; they don’t study, they don’t ask questions, they’re not truth seekers — it’s just a cultural club
Sage-Girl,
this is the overall secular paradigm,
minimization of effort,
maximization of pleasure.
I have never been sure to what extent or in what situations this prohibition applies:
That it applies, however, is without doubt. Many Orthodox thinkers and saints have advised us not to argue. It is a sobering thought, especially for me with the temperament to reflexively disagree with almost anything that comes from another person. God forgive me.
I have been tasked as a spiritual discipline by two men who know such things to hold on to my peace and then speak. Do not allow others to steal your peace and do not give it away. I am not very good at it but in practice it tends to make me less reactive and more prone to trusting the Providence of God in all things.
After all, I am the chief of sinners (1 Tim 1:15). Any sins I seen in others are a reflection of my own. Lord have mercy on us.
In all of this we must consider the implications of our Lord’s words: ‘whosoever is angry with his brother WITHOUT A CAUSE shall be in danger of the judgment….’
This might result in some revisions to the usually good advice considered here, since, if we truly have cause to be angry at someone, we might need to proceed differently.
May Hod’s Holy Spirit grant us discernment.
Monk James, “without a cause” interesting phrase. Causes are pretty ephemeral things and reasons to be angry are easily fabricated from my passions.
Some causes of anger are ephemeral, but some are not, and it may be very important that we have anger as one of the tools with which we do God’s will — not our own.
Consider chapter 19 of the First Book of Kingdoms, where we read how Elijah, following God’s command, had killed all the prophets of Ba’al and was fleeing Jezebel, who had threatened him with the same and worse. An angel fed him and sent him on a journey to the sacred mountain Horeb, where God asked him what he was doing there, and he relied ‘I have been very zealous for the Lord Almighty’.
God gave Elijah additional instructions as to how he should protect himself from the glory of the divine Presence, and then repeated His question, and Elijah replied the same as before. Yet God’s words were heard not in the raging fire and violent wind which attended Him, but in a quiet little voice.
So, of course, we must always strive to keep our passions in check, and that’s why we pray for discernment, so that — if we must be angry — it will be with righteous anger and blessed by God.
Monk James I think there is a big difference between anger and using the incentive power we each have. The example you give of Elijah is not one of common anger.
Exceedingly uncommon. Very easy to justify common anger as something it is not and thereby get caught in a hypersensitive state of unthinking reactivity.
Mr Bauman, it’s clear to me that you write from a sincere heart, and I don’t want to offend you, but I’d like to point out something about the behavior of the holy prophet Elijah.
By the time he challenged the prophets of Ba’al. he had been severely persecuted by Jezebel, who had already killed most of the prophets of the Lord our God. As we read in the Fourth Book of Kingdoms (sorry for writing ‘First Book’ earlier) , he was very angry about that and afraid of her and of her police– very human emotions.
And after God proved Elijah’s faithfulness at Karmel, the holy prophet was still afraid of Jezebel — still acting on his emotions — and fled her. The Lord told him to go to Horeb, and you know the rest of the story.
You seem not to understand this as an interaction of a human emotion (anger) with the will of God, Who gave us just such emotions. Of course, there are numerous writings from the saints to suggest how we should manage these emotions, but they always admit that they are part of us and have their effect on our consciences.
Let’s consider the behavior of our holy father Nicholas of Myra, who socked the heretic Areios in the face when Areios denied the divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Obviously, even before the First Ecumenical Synod met, The Church understood that assaulting a clergyman was grounds for excommunication for the laity and laicization for a clergyman.
Bishop Nicholas was angry, very angry, much like the holy prophet Elijah. But, according to the rules (still in effect), his action required his deposition from the episcopate and from the priesthood altogether. But Heaven disagreed, and our all-holy Lady Theotokos made clear that Bp Nicholas was correct in his action. This is why we often see her and her divine Son appearing over Nicholas’s shoulders in ikons. In any event, Nicholas of Myra is now revered as a saint, and Areios drowned in a latrine.
Quoting the fourth psalm in his letter to the Ephesians (4:26), our great teacher St Paul tells us ‘be angry, but don’t sin’.
This is important, since St Paul assumes here that we will occasionally be angry.
As many of our fathers who have commented on both these verses tell us, we should avoid senseless rage and instead turn our emotions toward the will of God. They do not deny the power and value of human emotions.
We are as God made us, and we must use all of our gifts in accordance with His will if we are to be saved.
Let us strive to become worthy of the divine image and likeness with which God endowed us at the beginning.
“In any event, Nicholas of Myra is now revered as a saint, and Areios drowned in a latrine.”
Are these mutually exclusive?
Monk James, when cause and anger are linked, I am irresistible reminded of Othello and his meditation before he kills Desdemona (righteously to his mind):
Othello, unlike me, could at least defend himself in that he was beguiled by the demonic voice of Iago.
Justice, even at best, is a fickle lover for we human beings. For as Shakespeare once again spoke: “In the course of justice, none of us should see salvation.”
So, how is it possible for me, a great sinner, to act out of righteous anger against anyone other than myself and my own sins? Yet I delude myself frequently that it may be so. There may be those so pure that they are able to do so, but I have yet to find any. Yet, the Lord Himself gave us an example when He threw the moneychangers out of the Temple. In my weakness, I can only suppose that the Moneychangers reside only in the temple of my heart. Defiling the place that only Jesus has claim to. I am unable to count how much light, that I cannot rekindle that I have extinguished in others souls by my anger.
Woe is me, except for His mercy.
Specific examples, please, of
“. . . proceed[ing] differently.”
But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach a gospel to you besides that which we have preached to you, let him be anathema. As we said before, so now I say again: If any one preach to you a gospel, besides that which you have received, let him be anathema. For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? If I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
(Galatians 1: 8-10)
Mr. Catsimatides is a billionaire. He could make all this go away by writing a check.
Father Philip —
I was responding in particular to these words written here by Michael Bauman; ‘Many Orthodox thinkers and saints have advised us not to argue. It is a sobering thought, especially for me with the temperament to reflexively disagree with almost anything that comes from another person. God forgive me.
I have been tasked as a spiritual discipline by two men who know such things to hold on to my peace and then speak. Do not allow others to steal your peace and do not give it away. I am not very good at it but in practice it tends to make me less reactive and more prone to trusting the Providence of God in all things.’
If we were to avoid all argument (or worse) and ‘respond differently’, we might have to defend the lives of other people, or the truth of the faith in the face of false teaching. It would be ideal if we could do this dispassionately, but human nature is generally moved to action by the emotion of anger, even with the highest spiritual and ethical motivations.
I’ll attempt to address some of the additional points raised by Mr Bauman, and I hope that they will serve to advance the question without my writing about them here twice.
I may dip my oar now and then into such a discussion….
There is such a thing as righteous indignation, but it is very rare. Those who express indignation ordinarily, however, do not do so out of righteousness, whatever they profess.
My own experience and observations are that anger is a very destructive personal force indeed, as are its byproducts– resentment and grievance.
It is in fact quite possible to argue without anger; I spent an entire professional life doing that. It requires discipline and certain techniques. Usually, the only effective argument is that which is dispassionate and not angry (at least in expression).
I have discovered very useful precepts over the years:
All indignation is false;
All outrage is mock outrage;
All offense is feigned.
All, one asks? Well, almost all.
Can one repent of angry reactions even if they are felt by a person who has “cause”? My heart tells me one can, and for spiritual growth, should. I may be deluded.
“Cause” is a slippery idea. Resentments and grievances are most destructive in those who have good cause for them.
Yes, Father Philip, all of us must repent the anger we feel when we are driven by our lowest reactions rather than by the truth we can see in God’s will for us and others.
The question we must repeatedly ask, though, each time in a really brutal self-assessment, is the one which will lead us to know how much of our feelings are motivated by God’s will, and how much of them by our own. This is the area in which we are most likely to suffer delusions.
Sill, one of the divine characteristics with which we were endowed by God, sharing His image and striving to conform to His likeness as we do, is that (unless we’re certifiable sociopaths) we have a relentless conscience, an innate sense of right and wrong, of knowing the difference between good and evil.
In the kanon of Paskha we sing ‘Let us purify our senses, and we will see Christ’. It’s only with a a purified conscience and loftier emotions that we can know whether or not we have the sort of ’cause’ which our Lord tells us we must have in order to justify an angry thought or action.
Even children have a natural — if unformed and incomplete — sense of justice which allows them to say, usually rather loudly, that something isn’t ‘fair’. Of course, this often means only that they didn’t get to have things their way, but that sort of unenlightened self-interest usually develops into something nobler as they mature and become more aware of objective standards of justice and the basic truths which inform them.
Pontius Pilate’s question (‘What is truth?’) to our Lord Jesus Christ went unanswered. Pilate wasn’t present when Jesus said ‘I am The Truth’ and he was in the very presence of the Truth. If we can’t recognize The Truth when He is standing right in front of us, words won’t help.
It’s only in the light of The Truth which is Christ Himself that we can see whether or not we have a legitimate cause to be angry, and it is part of our effort to be Christians to learn to ‘purify our senses’ and see Him.
This is not an impossible task, merely a difficult one. If we couldn’t ever aspire to such purity, our Lord would not have allowed the possibility that we could have cause to be angry.
Did the Lord repent of his anger towards the money-changers in the Temple?
Well Brendan, His anger was truly righteous was it not?–unlike mine. What was there He had to repent? In any case, I suspect hanging on the tree along with His request that our Father forgive us (all humanity) for we know not what we do took care of any doubt in that regard.
Much “righteous anger” is justified by that moment in the Temple(including abusive anger), but it seems that the foundational event for us to consider in regard to anger is our Lord’s encounter with the woman taken in adultery: Specifically–He that is without sin, cast the first stone…” Still the Cleansing of the Temple is recorded there for a reason.
Focusing on the anger is incorrect, IMO. Rather we should focus on the desecration of the Temple (and are not our own bodies temples of the living God?) that precipitated His anger. Is it not better for me to clear the miasmic horde of money changers from my own heart than to risk embedding them there through anger?
Repentance is always superior to anger any day as it results in a clean heart and no reason for anger. The more I repent, the fewer money changers. At least that is the way it works in my life. Hard to convince others of that reality however, including myself frequently.
I have seen and spewed too much murderous anger in my life to ever think highly of it. As a passage in a favorite murder mystery series of mine says: “There is never a point to murder and it is never justice”.
Monk James, there may well be situations where anger is “blessed” as an economia. That has always been my sense of the St. Nicholas situation.
That is one action in 2000 years of Church history.
Navigating through our age is quite different: the passions are constantly inflamed with all manner of cause and there are people who are rage-aholics. I am a recovering one.
Thus the inticement to righteous anger is dangerous. There are many more out there who are not yet recovering and will use any excuse to indulge.
Anger is a potent drug. Most people who think they can handle it–can’t.
Yes, we are free but so as not to scandalize and lead into sin those who are weak it behooves us to not extole any anger as virtuous I think.
Anger in its most honest form is healthy protest – it is enforcing boundaries, saying “no you cannot do that or say that that to me or to my friends or loved ones because we have intrinsic worth and value and won’t allow it.”
All of us who are survivors of childhood trauma – emotional, sexual, physical abuse, etc. — learn this fact early in our trauma recovery. It’s so crucial because the abuser trains the less powerful child to not get angry, to not protest. The abuser requires no protest, no anger.
(And yes, even though our Church doesn’t want to talk about it, there are plenty of Orthodox Christian parents who traumatize and abuse their kids – mine happened to speak the appropriate old country mother language at coffee hour, thus no questions asked, no confession ever, no issues with receiving holy communion. So many of us leave the Church forever due to this blatant hypocrisy and intentional ignorance from the church leadership. For some reason, though, Christ draws me to Him as more powerful than the abusers or the enablers in the Church. It’s as if He wants me to come to Him for healing in spite of the limitations of the Church.
Many of these intellectual arguments about the “appropriateness of anger” are ridiculous arm-chair theology clap-trap, in my opinion. Of course Christ calls us to express anger when it’s appropriate, as a manner of healthy protest. He Himself did it. If some of those Orthodox Christians had expressed healthy protest anger ob behalf of me or the many other Orthodox kids who were/are abused, they can put a stop to it. Do so. How I wish they had.
And yes, we do love our parents. But we’ve learned that hurt people hurt people. And if our parents are so hurt but can’t heal themselves, they’ll usually hurt their children even if they don’t intentionally want to.
Emotional dysfunction and terrible parenting are endemic in the “ethnic” orthodox societies where cultural pride or “machismo” is often so strong and is a barrier against people seeking help for alcoholism, drug addiction, sex or porn addiction, or whatever other problem they have that predisposes them to abusing their children.
So yes, use anger wisely and appropriately as healthy protest. Please do so when it is needed.
The leaders of the Orthodox jurisdiction in North America who intentionally keep their parishioners in the dark about where money has gone and what it’s being used for – that is blatant abuse. It’s clear as day to me that they employ classic abuser techniques on a daily basis to keep the faithful “in their place.” I’d sure as hell get angry about that.
Anonymous says:
I would like to address the money part. Anonymous is correct in everything he says. I have been angry at that in my own jurisdiction. I WANTED IT FIXED! I was no longer going to give to my own parish (where everything is disclosed pretty much) because of the amount that was required to be sent to the Archdiocese. Our parish got nice new carpet from one member who gave his offering “in kind” instead of money. The parish could not segregate gifts of money in a similar way.
My offering is not big enough for “in kind” gifts. So for awhile, I stopped giving entirely, but continued to pray. I realized that what I really wanted was control. God says “give” He does not say “give with strings” I came to realize I was angry about the lack of control much more than I was about the use/abuse of the funds. I started giving again but with more prayer that God’s will be done, not mine.
And, as the old saying goes “Bishops die, but sittis live forever”
Anonymous, thank you for your honesty. It is a difficult healing. May God continue to guide you into wholeness.
The cowardice of which you speak, in my experience, results from two sources: 1. Abusers are often quite good at lying and our somewhat natural denial that something like that goes on combine. Shame is what is produced in the abused and paradoxically in the abuser. Abuse of children is endemic in all modern cultures. It is a communicable disease. The sins of the father are visited upon the son….
My own problems with anger, stem from being raised in an abusive household myself. I too thought anger was a way to protect myself from others and in some cases it certainly can be. But mostly when combined with continuing shame, it only induces more anger and shame and is destructive, indiscriminately destructive.
There are times when something needs to be destroyed and focused anger can do that, as with our Lord and the moneychangers in the Temple.
Nevertheless, the only way I have ever found to heal and continue to heal is in repentance. It is illogical and counter intuitive, indeed it sounds crazy. A couple of years ago I got really angry with my boss’s son (heir apparent to the business I am in). There were reasons for me to be angry with him, some of which had been irritating me for years and I had tried to address in a reasonable manner. Reason did nothing to change (besides he reminded me of my father in certain ways). But I was on the verge of being fired after 20 years. By the grace of God, I had an epiphany.
There is within the Church a practice of accepting the reality that all sins are my sins–100%. I had seen that work to some degree in other relationships.
I was moved in the same direction in this situation. My heart broke. A couple of days later, I went into the office of the man I had been angry at (with cause, I think). I honestly accepted all blame and sincerely apologized with no buts. Then I went to confession–offering it all up to God in contrition. During the confession, I was made aware that much was being healed–a golden spiral forward and backward in “time”. Many outcomes from that one event (I cannot adequately describe the intensity of the moment my heart broke or the conversion that occurred through confession):
1. I experienced real peace for the first time in my life.
2. I kept my job
3. The relationship with my boss’s son has continued to get better (he made some changes too)
4. The level of anger in me has decreased significantly
5. I have been able to forgive others (still working on my Dad, even though he has been dead for 20 years).
6. I have a healthier understanding of the insensive power that anger often apes. They are not really the same.
7. I have a beginning on understanding St. Paul’s admonition to “Be angry and sin not.”
But as I said, to me seeing anger as a virtue is a bit like praising the benefits of alcohol to an alcoholic. The benefits may be real, but not for me. There is another way.
Lord, forgive me, a sinner.
Beautiful.
These are very moving testimonies and unfortunately are far from unique. I do believe that the ongoing anger that strongly, or subtly, negatively affects peoples’ lives largely results from such very bad early experiences, though temperament and other factors can play a role.
I was very lucky, and indeed blessed, to have the opposite experience. I am one of six children whose parents were very positive and raised us kids with, to put it simply, principles of positive reinforcement. None of us siblings ever had any estrangements, however mild, from our parents or one another; and when each of our folks died, unexpectedly in both cases, none of us had any ‘unfinished business’ with either of them at all. We all had happy relationships with them throughout their lives.
There is one factor, though, which makes the otherwise undramatic story worth telling. Our dad had childhood mastoiditis (a disease which went into the history books with the discovery of penicillin), which brought him near death and left him significantly, but not totally, deaf. He found in mid-adulthood that his disability had created anger and hostility (as such things often do) that was having effects on his family life, and he undertook several means in the early 1960s, including psychotherapy, to address and overcome it, which he did.
Both of our folks had a high degree of insight into the sources of anger and resentment, and were very candid and specific in teaching us lessons on how to short-circuit the same and eliminate them from personal relationships. Their methods produced dividends down the generations.
In early adulthood, I came to see that the normalcy of our family life was not, in fact, so usual.
Indeed Tim your experience is not of the norm
There is evidence, I am told, that anger is passed on epigenetically. It becomes part of one’s DNA. That includes the brain chemistry that makes processing strong emotions either easier or more difficult.
In some cases the sin is in that category of involuntary sin that only the Orthodox seem to address. Fortunately such things are also amenable to the process of contrition-confession-forgiveness.
Picking up on this and your recent post and mine of the subject, Michael, I’m going to make a short detour out of specifically Orthodox subject matter as it relates to these issues.
The analysis invoked by my dad in the 1960s to address his anger was related to Transactional Analysis, a method popularized by Eric Berne in his book “Games People Play” (1964). The intellectual/psychological tenor of the time was Freudian, and TA represented a significant departure from Freudianism, which has become nearly complete in the decades since. I know virtually nothing of the present situation amongst psychologists, but I think many insights of TA have withstood the tests of time, in what I am sure is much-modified form.
The encoding of anger and other emotions of which you speak was part of Berne’s approach, though it was not put in DNA terms at that time, of course.
The really interesting thing to me for purposes of discussions such as this is Berne’s specific identification of and deconstruction of ‘games people play’; the often almost-unconscious modes of social and personal interaction so many of us engage in that are so pointless and lead to so much unhappiness, guilt, anger, resentment, and other unnecessary and wasteful aspects of human behavior.
My parents actually gave me (the oldest son) and my sister copies of this book back then, when we were in high school, and discussed all of these issues very forthrightly with us. (I haven’t reread it for over 50 years– the insights remain). The result over the years of this and other things is no estrangements ever between siblings or parents and children, no leaving of dinner tables in tears, no put-downs, no surly teenager syndromes, no grudges; well, it’s a long list. The real point is that it is possible to avoid these things when one sees their sources and how they so often work.
I believe Faith is indispensable, but there are other sources of healing, too.
Tim R, the best sources are congruent with the insights of the deep wisdom of the faith without contradiction. Those can be somewhat more approachable though.